Relationships are kind of awful. You never know how things will play out. You just don’t get to know. We have these environments and landscapes populated with people that we interact with on a daily basis. Those people construct meaning in our lives that is beyond our control. We don’t get to know how other people are going to affect us until after we have interacted with them. They shape us.
It would be nice to hold a self-contained construction of identity that is impervious to the will of others, but then again – how lonely would that be? To walk through life and never let others have an impact on your path sounds incredibly boring. The truth is that we are built, as humans, to absorb ideas, emotions, and memories from the people around us. It informs who we are. It adds to our lives. Other people are a gift.
The trade-off to this gift is that other people are also awful. We can’t predict, walking into any situation, whether or not people are going to absolutely ruin our day. That’s the trade-off. People can ruin you. This is the price you pay for loving others.
I think that there is something to be said about the people you let closest to you. I’m not sure how others do it, but I define closeness by how much I allow people to define me. My loved ones are the people who can tell, accurately, whether I am doing the right thing or being a boner. My closest are the people who can really ruin me.
I mean, maybe that is just me. Maybe I am letting people in my life tell me who I am too much. I don’t see any other way to live though. I often am very confused at who the “I” in me is. The people I love help me with that.
Song of The Day:
“You Get What You Give” by the New Radicals