I actually have no idea why household bills would taste like Canadiens. I have never been to Canada.

Hawk has.

Once during Hawk’s senior year in high school Hawk, an avid saxophonist, joined the high school band on a bus trip to Montreal to play in the battle of the bands (the lame kind).

Anyway, as the Bus skided over as it passed through Dixville Notch, leaving Hawk and the band stranded in the middle of the harsh  New England winter. They were freezing. They were cold. The night grew black and the shivering of the bandmates sent an echo of teeth chattering throughout the canyon below.

Using the fuel in the bus the bandmates built a fire and gathered.

“What are we going to DO?!?!?” cried Hawk.

Just as he cried out a man, covered in seal skin, walked out from the treeline nearest the bus. He slowly made his way to the shivering band. They were frightened.

The man approached them.

“Are you ok?” The man asked. Without waiting for their response he got down on the ground and started rummaging in his backpack.

“You’ll freeze to death out here if you aren’t careful! I bet you lot are hungry. I saw your fire from my cabin and thought I would come inspect what-the-what was a-goin’ on. I’m sure glad I did.” The man pulled out a bag of freeze dried meat from his satchel.

“I got this Canadien jerky when I was at the border a couple of weeks ago. You lot are welcome to it.” The man offered the meat to the band. They passed it around. When it got to Hawk, he eyed it suspiciously.

“Wait, it this really Canadien meat?”

“It sure is young fella, got it yesterday!”

Hawk suspected that the man was feeding the group human meat made of Canadiens. He felt like this whole scenario was very reminiscent of a horror movie he once saw. But Hawk was hungry. And, even more than being hungry, Hawk was the courteous type. Suppressing his inclination that he might have been on the first step towards full fledged cannibalism he chewed the meat steadily.

In the end, the meat was actually from a moose that Archie, a Canadien store owner on the border, hunted the month prior. Not human after all, but Hawk was never privy to the knowledge of Archie’s hunt.

The next morning band group used the man’s phone and got home.

Ever since that night Hawk has secretly wanted to taste Canadien flesh again. Because, after all, Canadien jerky is delicious.

Song of The Day

“Seasons Of Love” by Joanne, Collins & Cast of Rent